I can understand your hesitation of reading yet another weight loss article. I’m sure you’re already in a situation where you’ve read countless articles on weight loss and you don’t expect much from reading this piece of text. On the other hand, maybe you do want to lose weight for sure but the countless deprivations you know about already, make you postpone your starting moment to next Monday or the 1st of next month.
If you think in this post I’m going to tell you about the health risks that come with being overweight or the fact that you consume way more food than you need, while not doing enough exercise, you are wrong! These methods never helped me to get fit and if they would have helped you, you would already be fit. What I successfully tried on myself and I’m now sharing with you is different than mainstream weight loss teaches. Not complicated, not extreme, just different. Actually, if you finish this article you may find it totally makes sense and you may wonder why didn’t you think about this method sooner.
People think being overweight is all about choices. Nobody chooses to be overweight more than they choose to have other known addictions like alcohol, drugs or sports betting. It’s about bad habits that build into addictions which by definition are hard to cure and surely not in an abrupt way.
I don’t think there is anyone in the world who is truly happy being overweight the same way I think there is no parent who would like to have overweight kids. Actually, people would like to change this situation as soon as possible. Therefore the huge success of radical diets that promise great weight loss results in a short time interval. At the same time, less than 5% of overweight people reach a normal weight and maintain it for at least 5 years afterward. Most of the other 95% continue more or less for all of their lives with the battle against fat. What keeps us from winning like the 5%? ANXIETY!
The anxiety that if we eliminate some foods, we’ll never have the chance to taste them in our mouths again and feel the endorphins flooding our brains giving us short bursts of total satisfaction. The anxiety that we won’t be able to enjoy our favorite snacks in front of the tv watching Modern Family. The anxiety about social occasions when we won’t be able to eat what everybody else is eating. The anxiety that we won’t know what to expect out of a future situation that doesn’t involve eating. The anxiety that ultimately we will not enjoy life as we do now, due to the cost of these efforts.
The trap you may find yourself in, just like I was, is that this anxiety is not relieved by continuing with the habits that keep you overweight but that it is actually generated by these habits. By definition, a trap is not something you decide to fall into but, once you’ve fallen, it will try to keep you there for as long as possible. No wonder so many people get seriously sick or even die before changing their weight & fat situation.
At the end of this post, you will find that it’s not hard at all to get rid of this anxiety if you have the right tools in hand as it will be immediately replaced by liberating feelings and optimism. This is not bullshit motivation talk. This is something I myself have experienced, and also the people around me, who asked for my advice. Actually, it was them, who suggested that I share my methods via this blog. Even if you decide not to follow my method at the end of this post, ultimately you’ve got nothing to lose.
I’ve already written on this blog my story about being fat. I could add a lot to it but I think the objective here is not to give you a detailed autobiography but rather to tell you that this is my true qualification for promoting my method for weight loss.
I’m not a professional, neither did I follow any academic courses or training in weight loss and coaching but I surely am one of that 5% I was talking about earlier and probably one of the few out of those who decided to publish his gathered knowledge on this subject and spread it towards others. Nor do I have any special talent in writing as you have probably noticed but as long as my message gets spread out, I am more than happy with this situation. You see, there is a problem with people who achieve, by self-study, self-experiments (and a lot of patience in finding the solution), a goal which is commonly accepted as really difficult – given the statistics. The problem is the widespread belief that they are frauds and tricksters, and that only professionals are the ones truly qualified to help. I would never try to discredit professionals but most of them lack the personal experience and I think this is very important in this particular case.
Now, I don’t want you to think I developed my method of weight loss overnight based on my success alone. It took years of trial and error – while losing fat and putting it back again – and a lot of reading about nutrition, anatomy, exercising and psychology before putting it all together. The solution might seem very simple to you once you see it, but I assure you this is the simplest and most effective solution possible for losing weight and keeping it lost over the long term.
There are a few categories of people who could fail using my system:
- People with a disease that could prevent a normal behavior of the body in relation to weight management. This includes thyroid and other endocrine diseases. But I assure you the percentage of these people is far less than it is commonly thought.
- The ones who do not follow my instructions exactly. They have the tendency to bend the rules, even if they are simple and easy to follow. Some bend them in an overly-zealous way. I’m not saying there is no chance of success using a slightly different method but that my method is the easiest I found so far for lifetime results.
- The ones who don’t understand this weight loss issue and probably don’t even want to. They are the ones who dismiss whatever comes in conflict with their own beliefs, without bringing any arguments to the table.
MY WEIGHT LOSS METHOD
The purpose of this post is to bring you in the correct state of mind in regard to weight loss, without ever feeling you are deprived of the pleasures of life and being fearful that you won’t experience them again. These are usual feelings when starting a typical diet. The correct state of mind I’m talking about will make you feel liberated once you start, and will put you on the right track for the mental benefits that will come along physical ones as you go through life. As time will go by, rather than envy the ones still performing the habits that keep them in the fat trap, you’ll actually feel sorry for them, and maybe even try to help them escape it.
Typical methods and diets show the clear disadvantages of being overweight and suggest that you cut different foods from your list while doing a considerable amount of exercising. The goal being that if you go long enough with these restrictions and get used to enough exercising you’ll finally reach your goal, free to enjoy life. Millions of people try variations of this typical method every day as it seems pretty logical to do so. Yet, so many fail and it is due to the following reasons:
- The solution implies a certain amount of restrictions, of giving up on things you consider to be life’s pleasures. So you actually have to convince yourself not to continue with those pleasures. Which leads to serious anger build-up inside you that can burst at any moment. Which leads us to the next typical reason for failure.
- A change in your daily routine – a stressful day, a hard break-up, a family celebration, a business trip – will put your ambition to the test. And maybe you’ll just say “the hell with it, I deserve it on this occasion only. Why should I do so many sacrifices and not reward myself?”. The next moment you’re off the wagon. I wrote about the typical behavior when this happens.
- Health should come first. There is the rational part of you that keeps screaming you’re doing this for your health in the first place. But humans are not like this. Unless something scares the shit out of you by threatening your health, the real reasons you try to lose weight are far more shallow. Remember summer days at the beach or by the pool? How ‘bout those weekend parties where you’re not even being noticed because the fit ones steal everyone’s attention.
This is my weight loss method in a nutshell:
We forget all the physical and mental deprivation involved in a typical weight loss plan and, instead, focus our curiosity on learning a new game. THE WEIGHT LOSS GAME!
It is opposed to deprivation and the factors that come with it and focuses instead on the joy of getting to master your own behavior, with the great benefit of losing weight and getting fit in the process. Sounds too good to be true? For this to happen you have to follow my instructions exactly and ask yourself a few questions. Don’t read further until you give yourself really honest answers:
- Why do I always think about eating & drinking, even at the moment that I’m doing it?
- Why do I always feel bad after consuming more than I need?
- Do I really want to go through life living from one meal to another and carry all this extra weight along the way?
- Why are there things in life I got good at, but I just can’t get myself fit?
Do you have your honest answers? OK, you can proceed further.
After honestly answering the above questions, you should be able to realize the trap you find yourself into. You realize that if you want to rationalize why you find yourself in the above situations the reasons are just fallacies and deceptions. So now, if you put these deceptions aside, you will have nothing to fear in terms of weight loss. No anxiety to feel every day. There will be no pressure since your goal will not be based on a restrictive method that you can’t follow. Your weight loss will come as an effect of the changes in behavior that you’ll acquire, which will remove the above situations from your life, one by one. You will feel liberated and happy to have control of your behavior.
THE WEIGHT LOSS GAME
A good friend of my once told me he could start over with a business and make money from scratch but he just can’t get fit. He is a successful person but he found it so hard and challenging to lose weight that it troubled me ever since. He told me he tried, or at least decided, to lose weight so many times he doesn’t even remember. Always trying a new diet, workout plan or personal trainer. I then realized these were the exact reasons that made losing weight such a big problem for everyone. It is already socially accepted that it’s hard to get fit, even before trying. So you supposedly face a hard challenge before even starting. The social pressure! And once you fail a couple of times, the challenge becomes impossible for you. You lose most of the faith you had in the first place.
This friend of mine didn’t think the same in regard to other things in his life. He built a couple of successful businesses from scratch because he took it step by step, from small to big, and became more professional with every day that went by. He thought big from the start but didn’t act like it before the time came. But mainstream weight loss methods are exactly this. They are fit for a professional, not for an amateur. As most of us are amateurs when starting out, we’re ultimately overwhelmed and fail. We’re not given the tools to go from amateur to professional level.
The way you have to see weight loss is exactly like a game that you want to play and be good at. The more you learn and practice, the more you progress and get better. When thinking of weight loss like this, the biggest problem is that most people want to play it directly like professionals, without going through proper training first or even knowing the rules. Therefore, as I said before, even if you pull it off for “a match or two”, you ultimately fail.
In order to reach a certain level of the weight loss game, you must go through the correct beginner training and learn the basic rules of this game. These basic rules will remain valid forever – also for the later game of getting fit. The way you evolve and build on top of these basic rules will determine the level at which you’ll get at, physically and mentally.
That’s why now, as a first level beginner, just learning and applying the following basic rules of the weight loss game will have a sure result.
Of course, just like ditching the old habits when learning a game the proper way, you will have to get rid of all your other weight loss ideas and habits.
Social influence is another thing you will have to resist in case you decide to make your decision public, as there will always be persons who will oppose your decisions, no matter how sound and trustworthy these decisions are. Only your patience and strong belief can prove them wrong. The purpose of this post is to give you the most basic rules of the game of Weight Loss, which you have to learn and practice in order for you to move on to the next stage.
THE WEIGHT LOSS GAME – BASIC RULES
RULE 1 – EATING FREQUENCY – EAT ORGANIZED
Set a clear number of minimum 2 to 4 evenly spread meals per day at roughly the same hours every day and don’t eat anything at all in between the meals. Not even a candy, a peanut or an apple byte. Anything you eat has to be included into one of these meals that you have set for yourself. Finish your last meal of the day roughly 3 hours before going to sleep. A meal should not last longer than 45 minutes.
DO NOT change the foods you eat until you’re prepared for the next level. You will eat roughly the same things as before, even if it’s low-quality food. You will not deal with the food quality at this point. The purpose of this basic rule is to get your shit together and be in control of your eating moments of the day while removing the snacking mechanism in between meals. If it’s not meal time then no food in your mouth, doesn’t matter how small the portion or byte.
You should also visualize, if possible, the amount of food you have during a meal. Avoid refills of food during mealtime. Instead, try to put the food on a tray in front of you so you can be aware of your meal quantity. Do not make efforts of lowering the food portion at this point. Just put everything together in front of you.
I tried eating schedules from 1 to 6 meals per day. I don’t recommend less than 2 because you get too hungry in between and the food thoughts appear in your mind all too often. I’m also not a fan of more than 4 meals per day because this eating schedule creates logistic stress in your mind. Even if you can do it for a short term, imagine that you have to keep this habit forever. Especially when you want to eat at roughly the same hours, every day. I think that in order to have more than 4 meals per day you should have a life somehow professionally related to nutrition and fitness.
The best number for me is 3 meals per day. That’s because my current life schedule of 9 to 5 usually aligns me with the typical breakfast, lunch and dinner meals of everybody else’s. If you’re a normal person you are in the same situation too. So then, why not set a typical eating schedule? The purpose of all this being the relieve the stress related to eating from your daily routine. Don’t worry, I know professional athletes who eat 3 meals per day and they’re just fine. But remember: absolutely no food in between meals! Feeling hungry? Wait till it’s time for your next meal.
With this rule in place, you’ll find that unless it’s meal time, you no longer have to think about food. No matter the circumstances. Going to an evening party? No problem. Find out if there’s a main course and wait for that one to eat it along with other food that might be there. And that’s it. You can focus on the actual party for the remaining time, without going repeatedly to the snacks plate.
The purpose of this basic rule – Eating frequency is to relieve the stress of always thinking about food by isolating your feeding moments to specific meals of the day. You’ll see just how much pressure you’ll escape from by doing this.
RULE 2 – DON’T DRINK CALORIES
Eliminate all the liquids you drink besides still water, tea or coffee without sugar. This means you can’t drink milk, juices, energy drinks, soups, soda or water with vitamins. It’s also recommended that you drink a minimum of half a gallon (2 liters) of water spread evenly throughout the day but you can increase the quantity gradually if you can’t do it from the start. Staying hydrated will help you in so many ways, including dropping your appetite during the day.
Liquids can contain a large amount of calories, especially sugars. Even a glass of freshly squeezed fruits contains a few tens of grams of fructose, which, even if it’s a natural, healthier sugar, can still add calories to your daily amount. I’m not even talking about sodas or other artificial drinks that contain an insanely amount of sugar that also opens your appetite from even more sweet stuff afterward. Do you want some fruits? Eat them as they are or add them in a smoothie which can be integrated into a meal. But stop squeezing fruits and drink fresh juices. It does more harm than help you in any way.
RULE 3 – EXERCISE DAILY
Get used to doing one form of physical exercise every day. Depending on your physical shape, this could be a 15 minutes walk, a bike ride, or a few minutes of short cardio or weights training session.
The purpose of this rule is to make you aware that exercising is also an important component in losing weight, and that it should not be left aside. This means you have to do a form of physical exercise every day. Nevertheless, the emphasis will be on nutrition as it plays the key factor at this moment. Do not bother with long, hard strenuous workouts since this increases the chance of messing things up when eating. Out of this rule, you want to gain a cool habit of doing a form of exercise every day since most of us are sedentary individuals who move our asses from the bad to the car to the desk chair to the couch. So yes, those every day 15 minutes walks are extremely beneficial. I’m not even talking about the mental therapy you can get from just doing that daily walk.
THE WEIGHT LOSS GAME – THE STAGES
As in any other new game, you learn, in order to get better and improve yourself gradually you need to keep track of your progress and practice new skills as time goes by. And we’re gonna do just that in our weight loss game too. You’ll have a 30 days stage in which to train and track your progress, with the objective of following all three rules every day. If at the end of the 30 days stage, each of the 3 rules was successfully followed at least 27 days, you can say you have acquired a new habit. The reason I’m using these numbers is partly due to my personal observations regarding how long it takes to create a new habit for yourself which, after some research, seems to also be backed by scientific data. So, that’s why I’m using 30 days stages for learning and acquiring new skills. The failure rate of 3 days out of 30, at most, is due to my observations that if you chat on more than 10% of the occasions, you’re unlikely to really acquire that particular skill. The 30 days stage can look like in the image below. This is what I use to track my situation. At the end of each day I cross a green mark on a rule I followed and a red mark on one I didn’t. At the end of the stage, I count the reds and draw conclusions.
If you happen to have more than 3 fails / 30 days for any of the 3 rules you have to repeat the 30 days stage again. But not before you analyze what caused those particulars fails to happen and how you can avoid them next. The reason for repeating the whole 30 days is to make you really good at this stage of the game before moving to the next one. Imagine if you are really good at exercising but you have multiple fails for not being able to eat only in the scheduled meal times. After 3 months you would still be good at exercising but you would keep improving the foods you eat. The problem is that you would still have amateurish fails for overeating because you could not organize your meals at the right time.
Imagine you want to be good at playing basketball. You start with basic game rules and advance through proper training. But you like practicing on throwing the ball more than practice on your dribbling. At some point, you get really good at scoring but your dribbling ability falls behind. This gets you to play a decent game but you cannot really advance until you master that part of the game too. The same method applies here, in the weight loss game, also.
You can find the above first stage rules and calendar in my Beginner Weight Loss Guide by downloading it from this blog’s homepage.
THE WEIGHT LOSS GAME – ADVANCING THROUGH STAGES
As I said before, you are ready to advance to the next stage of the Weight Loss game once you have mastered all three rules of the current stage. Now, we just have to see how the next, improved stage, will look like.
For this, you have to make a review once the current 30 days stage is complete and see which rule to improve for the next 30 days stage. Your objective is created by two components:
- Make sure to make the smallest improvement possible in order to improve but don’t put more stress on your daily routine.
- Don’t improve all three rules at once for a new stage. It’s hard to follow them all and you’re likely to mess the stage just because you feel ambitious. Remember you’re in this for a long-term, not for a race. Plus, you want to leave room for improvement for the stage after next also.
Example: Let’s assume you successfully completed the first stage described above and now you want to create the next one. You know you like sugars a lot and you already gave up drinking sweet drinks so you only had sweet food during your meals. You also gave up drinking your calories and you’re exercising daily in one form or another. Still, you know your portion sizes during your first month were pretty big, now that you saw almost each of them in front of you, for the whole month. It would be too big of a leap to take out sugar completely from the second stage on top of your rules. You want to avoid this kind of stress since it makes you anxious and this is exactly what typical diets do, which you definitely don’t want. Instead, we’ll choose the simplest improvement, one that should not make too big of a difference for you. When eating each meal, make sure to leave half of what you like most from it, on the plate. Just finish each meal knowing you left half of what you really like on the plate. Rule 2 and 3 remain the same. Now you have a new set of rules for you next stage without creating stress by taking out the hardest part. Then, for the stage after next, maybe you’ll improve your exercising rule with something a little more challenging. After a few months, your advance should look like this:
Of course, at some point, you’ll take out sugar from your meals, but by that time, you’ll totally feel comfortable to do it because you’ll no longer be an amateur.
Ultimately, healthy, long-term weight loss principles remain the same for every method you use. Nevertheless, the big difference is is how you position yourself mentally in regard to the set of changes that finally have to become your everyday habits. If you tackle them organized and gradually, you’ll discover that not only you’re losing weight while getting fit but also that you’re becoming a different person altogether.
This is what I’m trying to do here with my method. Hoping to make people understand that not only they’re gonna lose weight but also improve many aspects of their lives too. Which is a big deal. Because you’re going to start a chain reaction which will fuel itself with ambition, sense of freedom and admiration from others. You no longer link your activities with weekdays vs. weekends or a specific time of the year. They become part of your new, ever-improving self. The moment you start your journey, you may find that decluttering your apartment is also necessary and enjoyable. Maybe you’ll also “trade” 10 of your old, boring shirts for 3 new top-quality ones. Maybe you’ll find that all the gadgets you gathered for so long are totally useless and the only things you really need are your phone and laptop. And maybe you’ll find those daily walks so enjoyable that you’ll free even more time for that, now that you sold your gadgets that kept you tied to a couch looking at a screen. Finally, maybe you’ll find other ways to enjoy life, more simple and closer to nature than ever.
It’s hard to be aware of these changes from the start because all you see in front is deprivation and discomfort. That’s why we start it in a comfortable way so that you can be aware of these other advantages as soon as possible and realize that the actual weight loss is just the tip of the iceberg.